and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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