I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
