SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
