We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just had sex bonerless
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
