don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
