Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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