she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
