oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
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I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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