Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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