I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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