I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
