forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize