And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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