I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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