Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Can I color on your dick again?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
