I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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