what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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