Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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