True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
