1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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