normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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