I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
