if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
