Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
