What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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