we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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