He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
