sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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