i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
