i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I love having hate sex.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
