i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
