i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
