We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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