I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
