what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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