friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
