Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
