There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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