I'm going to jail i love you
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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