do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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