So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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