yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
