You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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