I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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