I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just googled if crying burns calories
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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