This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize