Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
