Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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