Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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