Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
