You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
