she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
