Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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