you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
