she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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