I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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